Parenting During A Pandemic

by Jasna Cameron

“So far, 2020 is like looking both ways before you cross the street then getting hit by an airplane.” —Unknown

There are many ways to sum up the pandemonium that was the year 2020, but the top of the list is “change”. It changed the way we think about the world, the way we feel about others, the way we work, and most importantly the way we parent. For those of us who usually wake up, put on our business hats (suits), and drive a few miles to our office, one of the biggest upsets was the transference to teleworking. It effectively fused those two different facets, our work life, and our home and parenting life, into one very messy and muddled blend of benefits and challenges alike.

What are the Benefits of Working from Home?

While it’s sometimes hard to appreciate, especially for parents who had to homeschool, work from home and take care of household chores, research shows that there are some benefits to working from home:

• An internship research team for the Research and Business Development Center at BYU-Idaho reported findings that 60% of workers in the management positions were supporting the future of telecommuting and online conferencing brought on by the COVID-19 changes in work dynamic. Working from home seems to have been the best side product of the pandemic.

• The Gallup poll presented evidence that a rising percentage of workers who were offered remote work options in the US, jumped from 39% to 57% in the last few weeks of March. 

• Major movers and shakers like Facebook, Shopify, Zillow, and Twitter jumped on the bandwagon announcing their plans to support telecommuting in the future as a way to promote work-life balance. On a positive note, it is seen as a way to allow parents more time and freedom to devote themselves to their families.

• Previous studies, as highlighted by Professor Bell, director of the Center for Advanced Human Resource Studies at Cornell University, always praised working from home as a beneficial factor in balancing work and family life, especially for parents.

What are the Challenges of Working from Home? 

Previous research was not based on working from home during a pandemic. Previous research was based on those considered to be the lucky ones who did not have to take on the challenge of morning rush hour traffic and would have the comforts of their own home and space to be creative and productive.

“If you had asked me what the hardest part of battling a global pandemic would be, I would have never guessed ‘teaching elementary school math.'” —Simon Holland

Even before the Coronavirus, our plates were full and we were fighting for gender work equality and for our partners to step up and share the parental load. These days masses of working mothers have to handle all the crises brought on by the changing work dynamic in addition to having their children at home to be looked after, fed, clothed, entertained, and home-schooled while performing housework duties.

Research indicates that even before the pandemic, it was the American moms who were saddled with all the extra child care responsibilities on top of their work-from-home obligations.  According to research from Syracuse University, 80% of Americans who chose childcare over their careers, were mothers.  Gender, Work & Organization, the academic journal, reported that mothers of young children were forced to cut down on their working hours to meet their parenting obligations. Due to Covid-19 regulations, the so-called “patchwork” system of child care in the USA consisting of day-cares, summer camps, and babysitting relatives, became unavailable.

As such, about 6 in 10 parents working from home while caring for their young children complained of constant interruptions affecting their work. More mothers than fathers reported that their work has suffered as a result of the pandemic restrictions on their home life. Mothers were the ones feeling the huge negative impact that this impromptu and previously unexplored work-life imbalance in the times of Covid, was having on their jobs.

As a result, for over two million women in the United States, it became an unbearable double-shift life leaving them no other choice but to resign.

“If there’s one thing that scares me more than an apocalyptic end of the world, it’s the possibility that if my kids fail at home-schooling they have to retake it.” —Three Time Daddy

What can I do?

There are no self-help books, no guidelines, no solid extensive research to fall back on to help us through this critical time we are experiencing now. Some relief for moms on how to better manage the work-life balance in the time of pandemic came from other mothers and their trial-and-error efforts in these uncharted waters.  These are times when we appreciate the true meaning of “You are not alone”.

“My daughter walked in on me talking to myself. I told her to give me 30 minutes because I’m in a parent-teacher conference.” —The Super Mom Life

How can I improve my work-from-home life?

• Organize: Even though this applies to everything in life, the benefits of preplanning and scheduling will be of utmost importance in stressful and chaotic crisis days, when your juggling skills are tested to the core.  “Work smarter not harder” is the best piece of advice I’ve come across in related articles.

• Schedule: At home, you are to some measure, your own boss and you can capitalize on time as you see fit.  Focus on what you prioritize or what needs to be addressed immediately, postponing different tasks to a later more appropriate time when you can give them your full attention. If kids need to be fed or their lessons set up on your iPad, set aside some time to do it so that when you get back to your work your mind is clear and you can focus. On the same note, if you know you have an important Zoom call meeting, schedule it during your child’s naptime. If the meeting time is set, then don’t be shy to ask for help.

• Get Extra Help: If your partner is unavailable, some moms have reported on how amazing their family and friends have been, entertaining their children on video calls while they manage their work meetings behind closed doors in a different room When lockdown restrictions permitted, some work-from-home moms who could not afford nannies organized a playdate club. If one of them had a very important meeting or a deadline the others would take on the kids for organized playdates to get the kids out of the house. Moms are very innovative and resourceful.

• Entertain the Children: Keep the children entertained as much as possible so that you are free to bond with your laptop. Preplanning is the key element in this instance as well. Whether it is ensuring their schoolwork schedule is set up for them to follow, or that games, puzzles, or arts-and-crafts are easily accessible. Increase their screen time should the need arise. I found many interesting educational programs that eased my guilt. Also, letting them watch Frozen 2 for the umpteenth time is not the end of the world. One of the funniest quotes from the pandemic was an executive scheduling a meeting with his boss with these words: “We can have a working session, but it can't be longer than Frozen 2.

• Separate Your Work Area: Set aside a separate area as a workspace. This will not only help put you in the right frame of mind, even though you are only a few steps away from your comfy bed, but it may help to place a wall-and-door barrier between you, the productive worker, and the rest of your needy and demanding household intent on surprise interruptions.

• Compassion and Understanding: Should you be the main speaker, you may have to rely on the understanding and compassion of your colleagues who are most likely in a very similar situation. I was in a strategy Zoom meeting going over the client’s feedback with my managers when my 4-year-old ran behind me, running for the bathroom, yelling at the top of her voice “Mommy it is a number two!! I will call you to wipe my bum, ok??” I did not even flinch, continuing with my report in the same business-like manner while my colleagues were brought to tears with laughter. My manager asked me to attend to the “bum wiping” and shared his story when his pre-schooler twin sons were having an intense farting contest while he was interviewing a potential new employee for a very important project.

How can you improve your working circumstances?

Once you have addressed all the issues on the home front, you can attend to it from the work standpoint. Look at ways that your job can be modified to accommodate the new norm. These may include:

• Communicating with your manager, and arranging and agreeing on flexible hours that allow you to stay on top of all the additional COVID-19 imposed aspects of new daily life.

• Be clear about expectations with your boss and your clients. Even though you are working from home, most people agree that regular face-to-face time communication with superiors, subordinates, and colleagues alike helps keep track of the to-do list and increases overall morale.

Conclusion

This is the time of instability and uncertainty, a time of worry and unease. We don’t know when this pandemic will be over and we don’t know if our lives will ever go back to what they were before. We need to rise to the challenge and create a work-life balance that works for us in these peculiar times. It will take patience and a lot of trial and error but we are women, we are mothers, we are strong, we are resilient and we will find a way. Also, remember that you are not alone. Your friends and family, colleagues, and managers are all on the same difficult journey of change. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but if we all put our heads together to brainstorm some helpful ideas, if we offer each other a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, we will find a way to balance work from home in times of COVID-19.