How Women Hold Themselves Back

by Alison Heyerdahl

It is clear that unconscious gender bias is still pervasive in corporate America and that a great deal of work needs to be done to advance women's career development.  Women still experience sexism and sexual harassment in the workplace, and many organizations do not offer maternity leave or childcare flexibility.  In addition to these external hindrances to career development, women are impeded by their own internal barriers to success.  This article intends to address how women hold themselves back from advancing in their careers and provides tangible strategies for overcoming them.

How do women hold themselves back?

• Women drop out of the workplace in high numbers because they believe it is impossible to achieve a true work-life balance.  This is partly related to internal beliefs about what it means to be a mother or career woman, and corporate America's lack of maternity leave and support systems for working mothers.  As more women choose to go part-time, the cycle of employers investing less time, money, and training in women ensues, widening the gender gap in the corporate world. While it is difficult to influence company maternity leave and childcare policies, women should make their needs known.  They should also be fully present when at home and when they are at work; and try not to let the guilt of being everything to everyone get them down.  Read this article for more tips on balancing a career and motherhood. 

• Women are taught that it is unacceptable to be rude, disruptive, aggressive, or directive from a young age. However, being likable and being successful are often mutually exclusive.  Stereotypically, men are seen as driven providers, while women are viewed as sensitive nurturers. Consequently, when women deviate from these stereotypes in the workplace, they inevitably become less likable.  Studies show that professional success is dependent on likeability and competence, and women cannot afford to ignore it.  Therefore, women tend to downplay their achievements and take a weaker stance in negotiations for compensation or career opportunities to be more likable. While it may seem unfair that women have to adapt their behavior in the workplace more than men, women may need to frame their successes and negotiations in more "communal" terms, using phrases such as, “We had a great year,” rather than “I had a great year.”  In this way, women will not threaten others or appear too forthright in their career ambitions.
  

• Women tend to lack confidence in their abilities.  When praised for their accomplishments, they typically “feel like an imposter” rather than accepting that they are worthy of recognition.  In fact, multiple studies have shown that most women judge their own performance to be worse than it actually is, and they often attribute success to external factors such as luck or having a good mentor.  Women also experience it more intensely than men and are more limited by it.  As a result, they hold themselves back from opportunities that are within their reach.  The best way to get over this “imposter syndrome” is for women to take opportunities that arise and take a "fake it til you make it” stance.  They should also realize that they are not alone – everybody feels like an imposter at times, and it can be encouraging to know that other people struggle with this same issue.   Furthermore, many people that suffer from imposter syndrome are high achievers.  Letting go of one’s inner perfectionism and realizing that no one can do everything perfectly is also helpful in overcoming this issue.  Women need to lean in, be assertive and be ambitious in every pursuit.

Conclusion

In conclusion, although the aforementioned issues are not comprehensive, they are a good starting point for women to realize how they may be holding themselves back in their own career development. Furthermore, women should not have to choose between having a career and being a mother, and these options ought not to be mutually exclusive. We need more portrayals of women as both competent professionals and happy mothers, and women should encourage other women to aim high. Moreover, each woman must take her career into her own hands, then stand alongside other women to ignite the revolution towards gender equality in the workplace.

Schedule a one-on-one coaching session with Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach, Karol Banks. As a Leva Premium Member, your first session is completely free.