Feeding on Demand

Unfortunately for all the type-A people that love a scheduled plan, babies don’t feed based on a timed schedule but instead need to be fed on demand.  That means they may want to eat every hour for a while and then space out feedings to every 4 hours at other times.  The recommendation is that you feed your baby whenever they indicate that they are hungry.  

How Do You Know Your Baby is Hungry? 

Since our sweet little ones can’t use words to tell us what they need, parents are encouraged to look for feeding “cues” to know when their babies are hungry.  These feeding cues include waking from sleep and becoming more alert, moving the head from side to side, “searching” for the breast or bottle, trying to suck on their hands, and mouth movements like lip smacking or opening.  If you see any of these cues, chances are your baby is ready to eat.  It’s always a good idea to feed your baby during the early signs of hunger because if you wait too long, they may become very fussy, and getting them to feed when in that state is harder.  

How Often Will My Baby Eat?

Generally, exclusively breastfed babies need to eat 8-12 times in 24 hours, which averages out to every 2-3 hours.  Periods of cluster feeding and sleepy periods are also normal and expected.  Cluster feeding is when your baby wants to eat very frequently or for long periods, and it usually occurs at night because it takes a few months for babies’ circadian rhythm to regulate.  That’s why it is crucial for you as the caregivers to nap during the day and between feedings since babies typically want to feed more at night! 

It is also normal for babies to have sleepier periods during the day, where they may not naturally wake up as often to eat.  While periods of sleepiness may be normal, if they last more than 5 hours or your baby is not getting at least 8-12 feedings in a day, inform your healthcare provider, as this can indicate they are not meeting their nutritional needs. 

In special circumstances, your healthcare provider may discourage demand feeding and instead ask you to feed more often, such as every two hours. Some reasons for a stricter feeding regime include if your baby is not gaining weight adequately, is at high risk for jaundice, or is born early or small.

What if I’m Bottle Feeding?

Bottle-fed babies may have longer gaps between their feedings (every 3-4 hours) since they generally fill their bellies more with each feeding.  It’s important to offer appropriate volumes based on your baby’s demand because it is easy to overfeed with a bottle.  It’s always good to ask your provider about appropriate bottle volumes based on their age and weight. The same guideline of feeding on demand applies regardless. Feed your baby any time they show you they are hungry!  If they still seem hungry after feeding, this may be a sign they need more volume. 

When Will They Start to Eat Less?

Over time, as your baby grows and becomes more effective with feeding, they may sleep longer and even drop a feeding.  Sometimes this doesn’t happen until solids are introduced (~6 months) and your baby gets nutrients from another source.  Don’t force your baby to drop a feeding- feeding on demand means that they should be offered nutrients whenever they show you they are hungry.  As a lactation specialist, I never recommend letting your baby “cry it out” or trying to train them not to eat at certain times but, instead, let your baby be the guide of how often and how much they need to eat. 

There’s no doubt that feeding is one of the most time-consuming and exhausting parts of parenthood in the first year!  Coping with the variability of your baby’s lack of schedule can be hard to adapt to and lead to sleep deprivation and mental/emotional struggles.  That is why we are here for you, to hear you and hold space for you.  To offer support and uplift you on your journey.  Check out our Wellness for Moms page and our professional support system - we are here to serve you, Mama! 

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Your Baby at Four Months